Converging On Hopefulness
I went to my first “real” medical conference at the end of my intern year. I attended local and regional meetings as a student; however, most of the lectures and workshops were beyond my skill level. Presenting work at this conference felt different, though. The excitement of hundreds of internists sharing ideas and coming together to learn felt uniquely energizing. Although still two years away from graduating, I pictured myself as an esteemed attending coming back to network with old residency friends, learning the newest evidence-based clinical updates, and participating in workshops to lead change in the medical community. The imposter syndrome faded, and it felt like I was finally a doctor. Because of this positive experience, I made it a professional goal to attend one large medical conference per year.
Unfortunately, during the spring of my second year, COVID began to spread throughout the world. With a sense of dread, the medical community realized life was about to change dramatically. Conferences were postponed or canceled nationally and internationally. Networking, workshops, and medical updates were put on hold as the entire world—with internists, hospitalists, and intensivists in particular—attempting to learn as much as they could as quickly as they could about a virus that was infecting and killing at a terrifying rate. It was scary, ugly, and sad, but our shared sense of community helped us put aside our internal fear to prioritize our patients. As lockdowns persisted and hospitals overflowed, we all hoped this would be over by the end of the year.
However, despite our best efforts, the pandemic lasted longer than initially predicted. Compounding this, COVID became politicized in an unexpected and divisive way despite a rapid vaccine development that should have been touted as the pinnacle of scientific achievement. The United States had grown weary of talking about COVID, yet hospitals—and hospitalists—were still battling surges. To maintain a sense of normalcy, conferences resumed but were converted to virtual formats. In the spring of 2021, one year after COVID first appeared in the United States, I attended my first virtual conference. There was a palpable sense of fatigue; we, too, were all tired of talking about COVID, but our conversations inexorably drifted back to it. The virtual sessions with their virtual breakout rooms, designed to be collaborative and engaging, instead felt forced. There was a vague “uncanny valley” feeling—that sense of not-quite-human interaction, especially as screens froze and audio cut in and out—and there was a tangible sense of loss at not being able to meet other physicians and exchange ideas in person. A month later, I graduated residency and began my chief year.
In April, as I approached the end of my chief year, SHM hosted “SHM Converge 2022,” its first post-COVID, in-person conference. Walking into a large convention hall full of physicians, posters, and vendors, it was hard not to become emotional. After two years of collective sorrow, it felt like we were finally reaching a turning point. In addition to the usual conference didactic sessions, there was a renewed focus on healthcare disparities—something the pandemic highlighted—as well as innovations, including telehealth, which COVID unexpectedly helped make more feasible. During the conference, I was struck by the optimism that hundreds of hospitalists brought, despite the significant hardships of the past two years. I attended workshops on hospital flow, debated pros and cons of hospitalist performance evaluations, and learned about perioperative anticoagulation from hospitalists who had literally written the books on it. In an unexpectedly meaningful session held on the last day of the conference, I crafted a professional vision statement and one- and-five-year career plans. Although all the workshop attendees had their careers disrupted and were carrying with them varying amounts of grief, everyone still wanted to discuss their hopefulness about the coming years. SHM Converge 2022 made me feel grateful to join a network of physicians who have demonstrated clinical excellence, innovation, and resilience, and who have intentionally decided to “converge on hopefulness” about the future of hospital medicine. Thus, it is with great enthusiasm that I am yet again making a promise to myself to attend at least one medical conference per year.
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